It was a glorious summer evening in Sydney as I attended a lavish gala event at the famed Sydney Opera House. I was there escorting my long time friend and recent Miss Universe Jennifer Hawkins, who I’d known for most of my life. In fact growing up next door to one another we were as close as two people could get.

As expected the dinner was attended by some of Australia’s elite, but I soon grew bored and stepped out onto the patio to take in the sweeping views of the harbor when I noticed some activity in the corner of my eye.

While Jennifer went to refill our glasses, I looked over to see what all the fuss was about and was immediately floored as I spotted the most exquisite creature I’d ever laid eyes on.

As the stunning actress made her way towards me, she was flanked by security and photographers alike – allowing us to briefly make eye contact and exchange a friendly smile.

“Whoa,” I remarked audibly. “Who the hell is that?”

“She’s gorgeous eh,” a nearby cameraman snickered. “That’s Aishwarya Ria, one of Bollywood’s most famous leading ladies.”

She was one of the most captivating creatures I’d ever seen. The woman just exuded femininity, sophistication and grace. Dressed to the nines, she was clad in an elegant tight body hugging evening gown which showed off her ample cleavage and flaunted her hour glass figure and her tight round butt.

With her flawless caramel skin, long slender legs and open heeled shoes, she stood at almost 6-foot tall.

Inside I watched as she worked the room, chatting and mingling with various dignitaries before she ultimately made her way towards me and I found myself eavesdropping into her conversation.

I was immediately impressed by her demeanor, and delighted by her English/Indian accent. She just spoke with such grace and poise, it was almost intimidating. Watching her for a few minutes, I finally built up the courage to approach her and threw caution to the wind.

“Wow,” I suddenly commented from out of the blue. “I see you’ve gone all out with the makeup tonight,”

“Excuse me,” she quipped, apparently surprised by my tone.

Her companions immediately fell silent and looked at me in absolute bewilderment. I could tell Aishwarya herself was a little taken back but still kept her composure, not wanting to give me the satisfaction of getting upset.

Amusingly enough it didn’t take long for her “friends” to step away and give us some much needed privacy, apparently terrified at how she’d respond while at the same time not wanting to have anything to do with me. What I didn’t know at the time was just how short tempted and nasty she could be.

“I mean don’t get me wrong,” I added. “You’re still one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, but you really need to lay off the foundation. You’re clearly don’t need it.”

“Is that so,” she replied sarcastically.

“No please,” she added a moment later. “Go on. You obviously have an opinion about it.”

We spent the next few minutes both flirting and quarrelling back and forth, with her “people” watching on from a distance and clearly concerned for my safety.

“You can’t be serious,” I remarked while enjoying my glass of Drambuie. “Are you telling me you’ve never heard someone tell you that you’re gorgeous. You probably hear that ten times a day.”

“No actually, not at all.” she claimed. “You’d be surprised how well mannered most people are, they keep their comments to themselves.”

“Really,” I grinned. “Shame. Maybe you have too many ass-kissers around you. You need to get out in the real world.”

As I spoke in this casual tone I could see her fake exterior was starting to crack. She had clearly never been spoken to like this before and she was growing increasingly annoyed with me.

“Maybe you’re right,” she said. “Maybe my friends find me a little intimating.”

“Well. No matter.” I said while trying to cheer her up. “I’m just glad to see that you’re actually as intelligent as you are beautiful. That’s quite the combination you know.”

Smiling widely I could tell there was a definite attraction growing between us. Flirting openly with each other, I actually started to think I might have a chance with her before a minute later Jennifer emerged from inside and handed me a drink.

There I introduced the two ladies and stopped to marvel at the scene before as I now stood beside two of the most beautiful women on earth.

Unfortunately for us we were all soon ushered into the large foyer area, away from the prying eyes of the cameras and press and where we could all mingle some more before dinner was served.

It was during this time that Jen took the time to lean into my ear and whisper a few comments to me.

“Dude. You know she’s totally into you right?”

“Are you sure?” I replied. “Maybe she’s actually attracted to you and just want to get to you through me.”

As Jennifer and I laughed together I then grew anxious as I watched Aishwarya being led and introduced to a group of senator’s From Canberra — a small group of politicians I loathed and had a few dealings with over the years.

Catching sight of us together, Jen and I both knew they were talking about us — well, me specifically. Glancing over every now and then I watched as Aishwarya’s facial expression slowly changed.

By the look on her face I knew she had found out about my occupation, and was more than a little shocked and disappointed. The truth had finally come out. The truth was that I was a pornographer — and a fairly successful one at that.

In Australia I was infamous for being the CEO of one of the largest producer and distributor of x-rated material in the southern hemisphere — and the only reason I was even permitted to attend such a lavish event was due to my affiliation to Jennifer.

Of course being crowned Miss Universe had its privileges, and one of them was to allow her to invite whomever she wanted to escort her. Noting this reaction from the Bollywood star Jennifer and looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

“Oh well.” Jen quipped. “Better luck next time sweetie.”

It seemed all the great work and progress I had made with the actress had taken all of 10mins to fall apart.

As dinner was finally announced, everyone slowly made their way into the lavish dining hall where Aishwarya looked concerned and seemed to want to confirm where she was sitting. I suspected she didn’t want to be anywhere around me and wasn’t shy about expression it.

As luck would have it, not only were we seated at the same table but we were placed only two seats away from each other — with Jennifer separating us.

From the moment we sat down, the world famous Bollywood star completely ignored me and didn’t even look in my direction let alone speak. Meanwhile Jen and I couldn’t stop laughing and enjoying ourselves throughout dinner and noting how incredibly awkward the situation was.

The Indian goddess just looked absolutely furious and barely smiled as she was made to sit at the same table as a reputed smut king. Funnily enough the more annoyed she was the sexier I thought she looked.

After Dinner we all sat around for a few extra minutes just chatting and enjoying conversation when I noticed Aishwarya wouldn’t speak until she heard me say something.

Only then would she deliberately take every opposite view point I had — as if wanting to make a point and trying to pick a fight with me.

Unfortunately for her I simply found this amusing and didn’t take the bait. Instead I let Jen do what she did best, and run interference and district most of the table with her charm and wit.

This seemed to work for most of the time but ultimately it grew harder and harder for everyone to ignore Rai’s disdain towards me.

To make matters worse it seemed the more she drank the more light headed she became and the more she began to speak her mind, and dropped countless snide comments towards me.

Then in an uncharacteristic outburst she finally interrupted me mid sentence and insulted me in hindi.

“Err, excuse me.” I quipped back at her, bringing a stop to the conversation at the table.

“You know. We have people like you in India,” she immediately snapped. “And do you know what we do with them. We feed them to the tigers!”

Not wanting to argue with her I simply smiled and looked at Jennifer for guidance.

“Err. okay?” Hawkins intervened. “I think it’s time we go outside for a little break. What do you say?”

“Absolutely.” I replied. “I think it’s getting a little stuffy in here.”

And with that said Jen and I politely excused ourselves and got up from the table as Aishwarya minders rushed over to see if they could comfort her. Taking two steps away from the table I was just about to walk away when all hell broke loose.

“Sorry?” Jen defended herself — noting the way the Indian actress glared at her in disgust. “Is there something wrong. Do you want to ask me something?”

“Pfft.” Aishwarya scoffed. “I have nothing to say to you.”

“You’re damn right you don’t.” Jen quipped.

“How can you associate yourself with a man like that.” the Bollywood star added.

Like me, Jennifer wasn’t known to be one for pulling her punches and went right off — speaking her mind and telling the actress to mind her own business.

“Listen sweetheart.” Jen replied in her aussie accent. “Here in Australia we’re not as close minded as some.”

“What! How dare you!” Aishwarya replied. “And what the hell is that suppose to mean?”

“Oh. I dunno.” Jennifer mocked her. “Use your fucking imagination.”

The entire table gasped at her comment. I don’t think anyone had ever expected someone as beautiful as her to speak so crudely.

“Did you just cuss at me,” Aishwarya protested, before looking at the other guests in dismay before she got up from the table and several guests quickly intervened.

Thinking quickly I grabbed Jen by the hand and whisked her out the door where we found a nice secluded place to stop and enjoy the view of the harbor again.

There we laughed at the scene downstairs and shared a cigarette together before Jennifer then went on the hunt for some alcohol and claimed she now wanted to get totally trashed.

To my amusement as I stood there finishing my cigarette I glanced over my shoulder and caught Aishwarya approaching my position – apparently wanting to talk to me about the incident downstairs.

“Ugh. fuck.” I thought. “He we go again.”

“Look. I’m sorry but.. I cannot believe someone like you could ever want to be associated in that kind of business.” she stated.

“Into what business.”

“Into pornography!”

She then began to talk down to me, as if preaching and trying to convert me.

“I mean. Didn’t you ever want a different life for yourself?” she continued, as I kept looking over her shoulder hoping that Jen wouldn’t show up and slap her right across the face.

Although considering her pompous tone the idea did kind of intrigued me for a minute. Carrying on with her moral speech, she was really starting to get on my nerves — acting all high and mighty.

“You know. Sex isn’t everything.” she finally added.

“Yeah well,” I boldly replied. “Then I guess you’re just not doing it right.”

“Excuse me?” Aishwarya raised an eyebrow.

“Look. I was generous enough to come to talk to you,” she claimed. “And try and talk some sense into you, and you..”

“Hey!” I let loose. “Don’t do me any favors okay princess. Mind your own fucking business and worry about yourself.”

Aishwarya’s was shocked into silence. The look on her face was priceless. Leaning in I continued.

“Listen. Here you are walking around all high and might, acting like you own the place and lecturing everyone on the way they should live.. meanwhile you got a look in your eye like you haven’t been FUCKED in years!”

The starlet looked so shocked I thought her head was going to explode. I wasn’t quite sure what she was going to do.

But I doubted anyone had ever spoken to her like that before, and she seemed to have lost the power of speech. Enraged, she then suddenly and abruptly slapped me sharply across the face. In fact the contact was so hard that the sound rang out across the gallery.

*SLAP!*

In the background I could hear people gasp audibly, as I only noticed now that others had been watching us from one of the bars.

A moment later Aishwarya’s minders panicked and rushed over to talk to her as I simply reached into my pocket and lit up another cigarette. It wasn’t the first or last time I had been slapped by an incredibly beautiful woman.

Meanwhile Aishwarya raised her hand to her approaching staff and shooed them away.

I snickered briefly at the way she wielded power over them, as she simply stood there staring me down and apparently waiting for me to apologize to her. Considering I had already been slapped I thought I really didn’t have anything to lose so I spoke my mind.

“Let me ask you something.. sugar tits.” I daringly quipped. “When was the last time you got laid. Because you’re clearly frustrated tonight.”

Seeing her horrified look I smirked smugly to myself.

“There you go.” I remarked. “I rest my case.”

The striking starlet (no pun intended) simply stood there speechless for another moment before she finally found the power of speech and threatened me: her voice low and shaky.

“How.. Dare.. You.. Speak to me in that way!”

And with that she slapped me again — striking me in the exact same spot she did just a minute earlier.

*SLAP!!*

“Wow.” I thought to myself, as we actually heard onlookers wince and gasp with surprise. “Okay. I have to admit. That one kind of hurt.”

People all around us just stood there and watched in awe until one of her minders finally had the courage to come over and drag her away from me.

“Please. Please.” the poor girl pleaded in Hindi. “The two of you are causing a scene. We have to get you back inside before the paparazzi see you.”

Flashing me an evil look, Aishwarya was then returned into the dining hall as two officials approached me and asked me to leave.

As luck would have it this was the exact time Jennifer returned with our drinks and upon hearing the conversation she snapped and cussed them both out, before insisting they give us their names.

Naturally the officially backed down almost immediately and ran away.

“What the hell is going on out here?” Jen asked. “Everyone seems to be talking about it. Did I miss something?”

“Not at all Jen.” I reassured her with a peck on the cheek

“That bitch didn’t come talk to you again did she?”

“What can I say.” I snickered. “The girls got a hard-on for me or something,”

“Yeah. I don’t doubt it.” Jennifer shrugged as we enjoyed our drinks together.

A few minutes later, while Jennifer and I were chatting and enjoying ourselves on the balcony, Aishwarya suddenly appeared once again and walked towards me. It seemed the Bollywood actress hadn’t got everything off her chest yet and wanted to argue some more.

Spotting her, I told Jennifer, “You have got to be kidding,”

Jennifer looked around and then huffed in frustration. Aishwarya ignored her and spoke directly to me.

“Look, I just want to apologies about earlier,” she said, “to both of you,”

Fed up with her, and with nothing to lose I spoke my mind again.

“For the love of god, what is it that’s bothering you? What.. do.. you.. want?”

Slightly drunk, Jennifer giggled (knowing what I’m like) which caused me to chuckle as well.

Spilling her champagne, Jennifer quickly walked off laughing, leaving us alone again. And again, Aishwarya stood silent in front of me–shocked at my behavior and apparent lack of manners.

Laughing and smiling at Jennifer from across the patio, Aishwarya groaned.

“You rude brute. I have the decency to come over and apologies to you, and you..”

“Well who asked you to?” I interrupted her.

Again she went silent, and finally replied, “I have NEVER met anyone like you. You disgust me!”

I took another swig from my glass and enjoyed the view — being painfully obvious that I didn’t want her company. Looking back I noticed her still standing there staring at me?!?

I then said, “Are you still here? What the fuck do you want! Leave me THE FUCK alone!!”

Shocked once again, I did her a favor and walked off while she just stood there.

For a moment I thought she was going to cry as her eyes welled up with rage. It was obvious to me she had gone through life pretty much getting everything she wanted — and here I was, not only unimpressed, but dismissing and rejecting her.

Seeing the way she was acting it was clear to me she really liked me — well at least before she found out about my occupation.

Later that night, Jennifer and I head back to the hotel suite. Relaxing and having a few more drinks, we were just fooling around and laughing when we suddenly heard a knock at the door.

While lying on the sofa and catching my breath (we had been wrestling around as usual), Jennifer went up to answer the door — still dressed in her outfit, she was barefoot and half drunk.

Giggling hysterically, Jennifer opened the door and then burst out laughing after finding none other than Aishwarya Rai standing there.

Jennifer drunkenly laughed, “oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me.. Matt, it’s for you!”

Jennifer then opened the door wide and invited Aishwarya in–before stumbling away from the door and looking around the living room for her shoes. Finally finding them, Jennifer then decided to leave and give us some privacy.

Before I could say anything she drunkenly mumbled, “Well, If you guys need me I’ll be downstairs at the bar.. making some guys wildest dreams come true!”

“Ha! Okay, just be careful baby,” I said and with that Jennifer smiled and staggered towards me.

“Of course, but I could say the same to you,” Jennifer beamed, and with that she pecked me on the lips.

As Jennifer left and closed the door behind her, Aishwarya stood silently in the living room, apparently ready to continue right where we left off.

Rolling my eyes I got up and went to the bar to make myself another drink. I was already way drunk, but if I was going to listen to anymore of her shit I was going to need a lot more alcohol.

I asked her, “So, how the hell did you find me anyway?”

In her sexy accent she explained, “oh don’t be so pompous, I’m staying at this hotel too.. down the hall as a matter of fact,”

Hearing her slightly slur her words, I looked over to see she too was pretty plastered — a lot more than when I last saw her. Her beautiful blue-green eyes were red and slightly blood shot.

Making myself a drink I sarcastically smiled, “Well isn’t that comforting.”

Aishwarya drunkenly mumbled, “So are you going to offer me a drink or are you going to be rude, as usual,”

I shrugged my shoulders and asked her, “Well what would you like dear? Help yourself..”

I then walked back to the sofa as she huffed in disgust and unsteadily made her way towards the bar — indeed helping herself. She had obviously already had way too much to drink.

Watching her unsteadily go to the bar I told her, “But if you ask me, it seems someone’s already had their fair share for the night..”

“Oh please,” she replied, swaying in the non existent breeze, “I know exactly what I’m doing..”

Getting her drink she slowly made her way to sit beside me on the sofa. Reaching down she then unbuckling her heels and kicked off her expensive shoes.

Glancing at me she then said, “Well I’m sure YOU don’t mind,”

Aishwarya was apparently making herself at home and beginning to open up and feel a lot more comfortable around me.

Watching her kick off her shoes and relax next to me on the sofa I asked her, “Feel Better?”

“Yes, thank you,” she keenly replied — smiling widely at me.

This girl was incredible, and a lunatic!