Thomas pauses at his mother’s door and hears her crying. He silently curses his father. He must have hurt her. Again. His hopes that things might have improved between his parents over the last few months since his absence seem to have come to nothing.
After knocking softly on the door he waits. She answers after a moment, and despite the tears staining her pretty face, she looks happy to see him.
“Hi hon.”
“Hi, Mom, are you OK?”
“Hmm, not really actually. Your dad left me.”
“Again, well he will be back. He always comes back.”
Ellen looks at her young son. She has been keeping the truth from him for the past few months. Thomas had left for school, Michigan State, at the end of the summer shortly after which Frank had up and left her. This time for good.
He was eighteen and a freshman away from home for the first time. She simply had not wanted to burden him with her martial problems as he tried to get settled in his new environment.
“Look honey, come downstairs with me and I will tell you the truth.”
Ten minutes later they are sitting next to each other in front of the fire on this cold December night. The den is dark and silent except for the crackle and pop of the glowing fire. They are both sipping on a full glasses of red wine she just poured them.
He stares at his mother as she sips on her glass of wine. As always he is smitten by her beauty. Ellen was your typical Filipino beauty who, at the age of 42, had a mature graceful appearance that only seemed to get better with time. She had a nice slim figure – not too tall, 5′ 2″ while weighing 106 pounds. Her hair was raven black and beguiling falling just past her shoulders matching nicely her dark flawless complexion.
Ellen won a couple of local beauty contests when she was younger a fact which surprised her young son not in the least. Best of all, she was a true coquette, loving to flirt and always smiling.
As a mother she was blessed with a gentle disposition, kindness, patience, and a wonderfully big heart full of undying love for her only child. To her husband she was caring, faithful, romantic, and loyal to a fault. Sadly none of this was appreciated much by Frank who was a faithless womanizer who basically took advantage of his wife’s loyal nature.
And now she was drinking a fact which secretly thrilled Thomas as his mother tended to become quite warm and friendly after a glass or two of wine. The thrill of watching her drink is somewhat offset by the disappointment in what she is wearing.
On some occasions, especially when they were alone, Ellen could be quite the show off in the way she dressed around her young son. But apparently she was not in a show off mood tonight for she was wearing a thick fuzzy white robe that completely covered that sweet little petite figure of hers.
He reaches out and touches her arm lightly as they sit side by side on the sofa across from the fire. “So what is it, Mom? Why are you crying? He left you before and you never cried. Not that I remember.”
“This time it’s for good honey. That is what I have been avoiding telling you for the past few months. He left for good this time, shortly after you went off to college. I didn’t want you to worry so I said nothing.”
“Yeah but how do you know it’s for good? He left before and always returned.”
“Tommy . . .” She takes his hand into hers and squeezed it gently. “The divorce papers have already been signed by the both of us. Its final . . . and well he is already living with his new girlfriend.”
“Seriously, Jesus no wonder he has been avoiding my calls. And Christ you should have said something, Mom. I would have come home.”
“And that is exactly why I didn’t . . . just because I knew you would have wanted to drop everything to rush home and comfort your mommy.”
“I guess you know me that well?”
“I do.” She looks at him and smiles. The wine, her fragile mood, the warm intimacy of the cozy den and its glowing romantic fire is all combining to create a warm glow deep inside her heart.
But most especially, after being away from her beloved Tommy for so long, three and half months, that is 107 days to be exact, now him being home – and their being alone together on his first night home- something seems magical about this evening.
Now the smile, by careful design, turns into a frown. Always attuned to his mother’s moods he notices the frown.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing . . . everything. I just missed you. I want to talk but . . .”
“But?”
“But it’s warm in here. The fire you know.”
“We can talk somewhere else. The kitchen maybe. The living room.”
“The kitchen. Hmm no . . . it’s not comfortable and as for the living room no way. Too many bad memories . . . of your dad sitting there stupid drunk in his easy chair barking orders at me. Here in the den is actually the perfect place to talk. This was my place. Our place actually as remember he never came in here.”
“Yeah right, mother I remember. We used to cuddle in front of the fire on cold winter’s evenings.”
“Yes, that was nice. Real nice in fact.”
“Are you saying you maybe you want to cuddle like before, Mom?”
“Do you? God knows I could use a little cuddling. I’m not feeling very good about myself.”
“Well I would be happy to cuddle with my Mommy. You know, relive old memories, but then with my arms around you you would be really too warm . . . and you are already complaining about it being too hot in here. I guess I could put the fire out.”
“Then it will be too cold,” she whines knowing she is hard to please while at the same time knowing full well Thomas will do anything to appease her no matter how difficult she is being. It works, of course.
“First too hot, then too cold . . . Jesus, Mom!!”
“I know, I know . . . I am hard to please. I don’t want you to put out the fire anyways. It’s soothing to watch the flames dance about.”
“But if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“Well maybe if we don’t move so close to the fire. We could just stay here on the couch I will be alright.”
“Yeah we could that. You could also maybe take off your stupid old lady robe, Mom.”
She smiles at him as this is the opening she has been waiting for. “What you don’t like your mom’s thick fuzzy robe son.”
“Not really. It’s well not to be mean, but it’s not exactly appealing.”
“Yeah, well, the problem is . . . what I am wearing underneath my ugly robe hon.”
“Pajamas would be my guess.”
“Guess again.”
“Tee shirt and shorts maybe.”
“Hmm, no.”
“Ahh, nothing.”
“Yeah you wish,” she laughs reaching out and ruffling his full head of golden brown hair.
He flushes red at her wisecrack a fact that doesn’t go unnoticed by her. Ellen has always suspected her son is a bit more attracted to his mother than maybe normally a son should be, but instead of being repelled by this fact, the truth is she finds it to be quite flattering.
“You wanna hear the God’s honest truth hon. Can you handle it?”
“Of course,” he fires back still smarting from her wisecrack.
“I am wearing a bra and panties.”
“So big deal, Mom, I have seen you in your underwear before.”
“Yeah, true, but not since you were young and most especially what I am wearing now is not the bra and panties you remember from years ago.”
“Really, well what is so special about them?”
“First tell me something. You say you remember me from before in my underwear?”
“Yes.”
“And what do you remember?”
He shifts uncomfortably on the couch. He doesn’t want his mother to think he is some kind of pervert from him remembering how she looked in her underwear.
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